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[03 Dec 2003|05:20pm]
lets pretend none of the below happened.
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wanted: new friends. [01 Apr 2002|04:26pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

bah. i need new friends. jane and marie decided at 230 this afternoon that they didnt feel like staying up late tonight and doing their part of the history project thats due first period tomorrow. i had already volunteered to do more than my share of the project. but they decided that wasn't good enough and that i should do the whole thing. sad thing is, i sprained my ankle this morning chasing after my stupid disobedient dog and im a little busy taking care of my very sick mother. and i was supposed to go out with my dad tonight, but appearantly i can't do that because i have a huge essay and poster that needs to be done. i wasnt even planning on going to school tomorrow because of my ankle. but now i guess i have to. and i locked my keys in my car this morning, with it running. stupid me. and theeeen my printer isnt working. today is just one of those days. actually. this is just one of those lives.

on the up side. [i guess it could be a down side if i lost] i entered this contest to win a bunch of really cool stuff from the frustrators. the deadline was today and i entered it today so i hope they get it. i would be a happy woman if i won.

The winner gets one good thing
(a "signed" copy of the new CD "Achtung Jackass")...

and a buttload of crap
(a flyer from the Adeline Showcase 2/10/2001 Frustrators/Influents/Fetish; a
"Bored in the USA" poster; the original lyrics for "West of Texas"
handwritten on an empty pizza box in the Catbox during the recording of
"Bored in the USA" and the box has a mysterious lipstick print on it; an
official Frustrators fan site business card; a DIY iron-on of the mean
cartoon girl, Joy, who says "I hate the Frustrators!"; lyric sheets used in
the recording studio for "Stupid", "The Pirate Song", and "Frustrators
Jingle"; original layout proofsheet for DIY Frustrators stickers; flyer for
Adeline Showcase 10/10/2001 Fetish/Influents/Frisk; rough layout for "Non
Gratus Anus Rodentum" art; Stanley the Chicken Comic #1 vol. 1, it only
smells like number 2; Five regular Frustrators stickers; rejected early
layout for "Trout" panel in "Might As Well.. Can't Dance" compilation;
not-quite final proofsheet for Stanley comic #1; some Frustrators animation
key drawings in pencil on tracing paper)

on the other upside. jane got a haircut and appearantly its really bad. so i guess im not mad at her anymore. jesus is on my side...

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[31 Mar 2002|09:38pm]

Hung upside down, your victims are slowly sawn in half, starting at the part of their legs. Because of the concentration of blood rushing to their head, they are conscious until you get about to the mid-abdomen most of the time. Of course, there are other methods, such as sawing off each limb. Yeowch. You're a gradual-torture person, someone gets on your bad side, you make them sorry for it, one day at a time.

What torture would you be?

Take the Monopoly Piece Quiz!
<td><table width="400" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">

You're the lego Space Man!
Strap on your helmet! You're the lego space man! You love technology, and look forward to the future. You're brave, active, and strangely attracted to shiny objects.

Take the "What Lego character are you?" test! by ctbx

Take the High Yield Killing Method Test Now!!

So, which Formula 1 Car are you most like?

See which Greek Goddess you are.

*Take This Test!*

Find out what cleaning product you are here! by mizzytizzy
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[31 Mar 2002|08:25pm]
im in an awful mood. nothing i do is ever good enough for anybody. my mom wont let me get a job or drive or do anything until i get better grades. but i cant. im doing my best. and she doesnt believe that roosevelts a hard school. shes like "its just as hard as bowie, youre just using that as an excuse." she just doesnt seem to realize ill never be as good as sara. udfgdhfgosxnfx.. and all my gramma talked about was how "anyone would kill for your old blonde hair." "what the hell are you wearing?" "i hope your taking care of your mom and cooking and cleaning" "what?!@ you dont cook!? what the hell are you good for?" "speak up. i cant hear a damn word youre saying" blah blah blah. they even yelled at me for having not smoked. "havent you taken up smoking yet? i started the day i turned 16." nothing like peer pressure from your grandparents. whatever. i dont care anymore. why should i even bother trying if it isnt good enough? im sick of trying to make them happy. if they knew anything... theyd be different.
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im gone, this is goodbye. deader than a dream beneath a grey chicago sky. [31 Mar 2002|02:05pm]
[ mood | useless ]

muhr. i had another dream about cars last night. last night was very very shitty. i dont think i have ever felt so useless and lonely before. but at that party. i just. idxufghiudf. so yeah. today's easter. i didnt go to church. and my mom has been sleeping all day. so it doesnt really feel very eastery. bbut cat came over and gave my an easter basket, which made me feel better, since my mom didnt get me one. but i dont blame her. shes muy enfermo. shes been sleeping for the past week basically. shes not cooking tonight either so im going to gramma's tonight. her cooking tastes so bad. so im not really looking forward to it. and then theyll have their little "list everything wrong with emily" session. thats always fun. i hate myself.

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dfkjbgxcjhvbfdgjhsdf [30 Mar 2002|11:13am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

i had the craziestdreaams last night. for once they had people i know in them.

first one i dreamed this girl heather from my church lived next door. and tyler [her boyfriend. me and him kinda have a history. but anyway] him and his dad pull up in the monstrouly great car. its like black with flames and the doors go up instead opf out and the tires are like 4 feet thick. it looked like a viper. so they get out and him and heather start to make out and then they look over at me. and give me this death stare that made me want to go and shot myself. but im more interested in that carrr.

so next dream me and bex were in the school parking lot way late at night. and we're in my car, but for some reason theres a steeering wheel on her side too. maybe thats how they do it in driving school but i wouldnt KNOW. but anyway. so i'm driving around like a crazy woman. asnd anytime i make a mistake, bex fixes it with her little steering wheel. but sometimes shell almost hit a car and ill just scream and say "your so fucking lucky you didnt fuck up my car" i wass really mean in the dream. that also made me want to shoot myself.

so next dream, maybe the same one. me and bex were getting out of the car. and im walking up some hill that isnt at my school at all. and i look back and theres this kid ian montie [i think only laurie knows him, but he goes to erhs] and i wave at him. and he turns and waves and turns back around. but then he turns back around again and runs to me. dont ask me why. i havent the faintest.

i had anoher one. but i dddont remember it. i had it in my head a few seconds ago. oh well. just thought id write them down. i may go to cp again today to have a picnic at the lake with the crew. hopefully it wont rain.

and now this smile has a bitter curve. [29 Mar 2002|12:56pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

muhhhrrr. so bored. my dad told me to call him today so he could take me to get some job apps and maybe stay the night. but he isnt answering his phone. and mom is in the hospital yet again getting two surgeries and whatnot. sucks. this lawrence arms cd is so fantastic. ashleigh got mad at me for liking some guy. as if i could help it. that made me kind of angry. such a pretty day outside. i wish i were elsewhere. i wish i had money. or a job. or both. then i could doi anything i wanted. im such a greedy person.

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reminded why relationships are shit. [28 Mar 2002|10:10pm]
[ mood | envious ]

yeah yesterday was pretty bad. and then the show.. and then raul and i on the ride home... started talking about our past... and how we felt about each other. i found out some stuff i wish i had known before. but i didnt. and i fucked up yet again. and now its too late.

the show was good though. very good.

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xdftggxghjx ffg [24 Mar 2002|11:11pm]
[ mood | silly ]

take the nyu type quiz.

mulletude (mu' li' tewd) the attitude that comes with the adornment of the mullet, behaviors can include the following: beating one's spouse, scowling or sneering at those who don't have mullets, engaging in fights on a regular basis (preferably with those who are not part of the mullet brotherhood), stealing, pedophilia, listening to butt-rock, attending monster truck rallies, driving a Chevrolet Camaro (model years 1970-1993) or mini-truck, snorting crank, working in construction, misogyny, getting angry at the drop of a hat, date rape, speaking in an inappropriately loud voice

Johnny Marston, the Dental Nightmare, about five seconds after I emptied a can of Mace into his impossibly hideous face. I followed it up by punching him in the throat and smashing all the plates in his house. Some people just have faces that scream out begging to be beaten flat with a red-hot frying pan.

Dis is L-Bone, trippin' mastah rockin yo azz from Appleton City! I gots mad beats ta kick, poppin yo bitches like Ex-Lax, niggahz!

i am the author and illustrator of the dictionary of one letter words, the dictionary of all vowel words, the dictionary of all consonant words, the cavers' slang dictionary, and the dictionary of 52 letter words.

oh dear god i need sleep.
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i cant stand it when you sigh because it means somethings on your mind [24 Mar 2002|09:37am]
[ mood | content ]

hum. i have just been asleep for the pasrt 16 hours. i had such a crazy weekend so far. friday night i got home from school and then kara and jared picked me up to go to cp. we picked up erika and some other crazy kid on the way and they were all smoking and it was rather uncomfortable. so we finally get to the party and so many people are there. a bunch of bands played and the first few hours were pretty boring. the bands didnt stop playing until 6 am, which is when i finally fell asleep in the kitchen with jeff. i slept for an hour. until 7. kara and i left around 1:00 to the metro. in greenbalt. which is 15 minutes away from our house. kara had this brilliant idea that we go all the way around to new carrollton which took us 8 dollars and over an hour to get there because we went the wrong way twice. [we were tired, the map didnt make much sense] so eventually we get to new carrollton and her mom picks us up and i get home around 3. i love that whole group of people at that party and i met a lot of people i had been wanting to meet. it was so much fun. so i fall asleep at 4 yesterday and i just woke up at 9 this morning. and i have nothing to do today. hum. thats about all i know. oh. and i have a new cousin that was born on the 19th. woo! we share the same bday. oh , and so do laura and i. shes really nice. before that, i knew no one who shared my bday. yum.

i need something to do over spring break.

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[19 Mar 2002|10:06pm]
i got a carrrrrrrrrr
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i layed there for days and you forgot. [17 Mar 2002|09:18pm]
[ mood | dreading monday ]

hum. i downloaded so much good stuff tonight. and i randomly burned a cd for cat which i hope she likes. hum. the zoo was pretty stupid. it was so cold and reainy and bah. my mom = embarrassing to no end. who knew the zoo didnt have polar bears? nooooooot me. well then. i better go finish my physiology homework and then this cd and then im off to dreamland. catch ya later...

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everyday above ground is a good good day. [16 Mar 2002|04:06pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

bah. why is today so fantastic? i woke up late and went grocery shopping with my mom. i got mario juice boxes and charlie brown grape jelly. and then we went to the dollar store and i got a bunch of useless junk but its great. thennn we went out to get ice cream at this cute little ice cream place type thing that no one knows abou. and of course i got rocky road with extra caramel. and the guy who worked there was nice on the eyes. he had longish curly brown hair and gah. so we left and went home. then i called ashleigh and apologized, and turns out she really wasnt mad, just kind of upset that her party was good enough to keep me around or whatever. its all okay though. havent talked to jane or eireann but they cant be to mad. so i come home and start "cleaning" my room [read: throwing everything in a box and throwing it in the guest room] and the doorbell rings. there, right before my very eyes, is basically the hottest solicitor ive ever seen in my life. his name was randy and hes from cali. oh my. so he stayed here for like an hour. an HOUR. and i bought rolling stone from him and he was so nice. not quite sure if he was straight. but it doesnt matter. he was the coolest guy ive ever met. he was 22 and going around trying to raise money for a business hes trying to start - a video/pizza/billiards type deal. it was pretty sweet. and bahhh. so lauries spending the night and today is fantastic. tomorrow is my "party" type deal at the zoo. not very many people though. not every one of my friends. I couldnt invite a whole lot. but im pretty content with everything. 8D

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rfyfgugfhvb [16 Mar 2002|12:23am]
[ mood | awful ]

ifuckingwanttodie. oh my dear god. so i went to ashleighs party. and i got there and i realized "i hate parties. what arte you doing here, emily?" ashleigh is so different around her "other" friends. gah i couldnt stand it anymore. so i leave. i LEAVE one of my best friend's 16th birthday party. i left. and i went to a show. and it sucked. and i was so mad at myself. so we went out to eat and then went back and said bye and then came home. i was supposed to spend the night at her house. i just couldn't stand her friends. gah. not at all. im so not a people person. i hate parties. so i get home, after stalking my neighbor [thats another story]. and so i get online and jane's yelling at me like no tomorrow. shes so angry at me. she knows i hate people and parties. she had eireann. but either way i know i made a bad choice but i cant take it back now. and im glad i went. and bahhh. i hate my life. and now everyones going to be mad at me on sunday for being stupid and. nothing is working. at all. i cant believe this. im such a bitch.

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look into my eyes. you're all you'll see inside. [14 Mar 2002|08:43pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

im in a fantastically good mood but yousef is so damned annoying. he gets all sappy and is like "do you still wanna be my friend blah blah blah?" and i told him i dont wanna talk about all that right now because im in a fine mood for once but he wont let up. i hate it when you tell people you arent in the mood and they dont seem to care. and they keep on rambling. today was so stupid. NO one in class because of the PSAT's which i forgot to turn in my form for. sucks. i had like 8 people in my chem class and he still made us learn and we begged him to let us go outside but he wouldnt, the big dimbulb. i dont really like nail polish. hum. and i digress, my life sucks without a boyfriend. let me tell you about the hot guy that i still have yet to talk to because im a lardass with no guts or macking skills. how come no one else sees the hotness in him. or maybe people do and just dont tell me. he probably has a girlfriend. ill bet he doesnt though. not that hes ugly or anything. oh no not at all. he just seems like one of those shy types who only really opens up at home or around his friends. gah i wish he'd talk more his voice is so incredibly hot. blaaaah. so anyway today was ashleighs birthday. people kept saying her collage was ugly which angered me because i took much pride in that thingy. but her birthday was perfect and it made me jealous. and i cant find cat's damn burned tic tac container sculpture. i wish i hadnt lost it because its soooo incredibly neat. hold on... laundry. okay. im downloading my current favorite song "standing at the edge of night" by element 101 and its so fantastic but its taking so slow to download. hum i feel like that bigwig song right now. and kinda like "better than shit" by L80. i like it when i feel like songs. because they put how i feel better than i ever could. i also like it when my internet is fast. lawrence arms happens to be my favorite band of the moment. today in tech, i cut out part of my cd holder. its so fantastic. imma mess it up when i pant it though because im so bad at painting. so so bad. i think im annoying cat. i went to her astronomy class today to watch apollo13 and i think she felt like i was intruding. and i followed her around a little bit. maybe i was just annoying myself. but i da know. when i told her i was coming she was like "why?" instead of "ok!" oh well. i think i judge how people like me but what they dont say not by what they say. maybe im just stupid though. i havent posted a public entry on this jammy in a while. rakan scratched a hole in my nose and its gross. ew so's my skin its all scaley and splotchy in the light. i need to go to a tanning salon so bad. someone take me. im too pale dude. i also want a ATRC tattoo on the inside of my lip. upside down and backwards so you can read it if i stick my lip out. oy gavalt how great would that be. i want to work at pac sun. the guy that works at the one here in bowie. man, hes bound to start a scandel. and theyre clothes arent bad at all. so then. off to get an application... wait. no car. ho hum. i heart him.

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[06 Mar 2002|08:24pm]
bah i fucking hate myself for not being able to help her.
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more kEwLiEz-iCiOuS test-icles. [04 Mar 2002|09:45pm]

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[04 Mar 2002|07:59pm]
i wouldn't mind dying now.
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im as dry as a seven year drought. i got dust for tears. [04 Mar 2002|06:20pm]
[ mood | angry ]

she said im not old enough. NOT OLD ENOUGH? im surprised she doesnt keep me in a cage and feeds me pennies. im going to be 16. how can she say im not old enough. dkjhfbdjlshfbdhjlfb whats the worst that could happen. i mean really? im responsible! :[!

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contended to lie in our boring vomit. [03 Mar 2002|08:27pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

humdedum. im watching dont say a word for the second time... such a great movie. this is the best part... baaaaaaahahaha. whoever plays the crazy chick is so pretty. but thats how it always is with the crazy chicks in movies. i dont think its quite hit me that its sunday yet. humm. i oughtta do some laundry. today was such a pointless day. im still kinda overwhelmed that i met saves the day. ::sigh:: just another day in the life of emily. im such a lazyass. i wonder if my mom would let me go on a road trip to see catch 22 and brand new in roanoke. doubtful. but worth a try... maybe? vroom;;;

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